Wrapped in His presence

A in the womb, cocoon, coma presence and security experience! Have you felt it, been in it before? Such a treasured blessing! My favorite place to be! I could hear everything spoken and being prayed around me. I was praying as well. I was at total peace. Relaxed to the point of sleeping but not because I was aware (hoping this relaxed state of awareness didn't come with snoring lol) Completely wrapped in His arms, guarded and protected... Completely secure. I'm reminded of 1 Kings 19:11&12, He is not in the wind, the earthquake, the fire or THE CHAOS! He is the calm. He speaks in the calm.  

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Pretty Woman

Do you remember that moment. . . That moment when Julia Roberts is in total shock because Richard Gere's lawyer Edward knew her secret and approached her.  That utter shock.  Her past, her present had literally slapped her in the face and given her whip lash.  She wasn't ashamed of who she was.  She was not hiding who she was.  Her trust had turned into a treasured gossip!  Now I know that this is not the most Christian based movie, but lets face it, if you are a hopeless romantic, a daydreaming girl you have seen this movie and love it!  It is after all a classic!  All sins can turn into sermons ;)  Can you stretch and reach with me a bit?  What is your testimony?  No, you may not be Julia, but we all have a past!  Do you share your testimony?  All of it?  Do you know all of it?  (I'm still realizing my true, extremely detailed testimony)  Are you careful who you share it with?  Does anybody care to ask?  I don't hide my life!  Honestly, besides my husband I do not have a close enough friend that has asked nor cared to get to know me enough to actually hear mine!  Then again I don't go and blurt my past out!  I prefer not to get verbal whip lash when that Julia Robert's moment happens and your trust has turned into the next best gossip!  I am proud of who I am through Jesus!  I am always growing!  I'm not perfect, but I am always improving!  If by chance you do here about my life, thank you for being such a wonderful friend!

I Am...

Be still and know!  I AM with you. . . Always!  Even until the end!  I AM your strength!  In your weakness. . . I AM YOUR STRENGTH!   I AM the beginning and the end!  I AM here!  I AM HERE!  Trust me!  Befriend me!  I AM your Comfort!  I AM your Daddy!  I AM safety!  Confide in me. . . always!  I love you!  Rejoice in me!  I love you Dearest!  Cry on my shoulder!  I AM listening!  I CARE!  I CARE MORE!  I CARE MOST!  You will succeed!  I release you from that burden, that struggle, that insufficiency!  I complete you!  You are whole!  You are whole with me!  I have begun a work in you!  I AM faithful to complete it!  I don't go back on my promises!  Desire me, Love me, Want more of me. . . MORE!  I want you to want me!  I need you to need me!  I will guide you!  Will you listen?  Will you obey?  Will you trust?  Have Faith!

Dates

Dates, I'm always amazed at the coincidence of dates. Even more so with birth dates and death dates they seem to connect the world, and the people in it, to make the world seem a bit smaller. What do the dates in your life remind you of? How is your mood and attitude on the dates? Does the loss or the gain of someone affect you each year on that date? My most symbolic/coincidental dates are as follows...

      August 19 - my Step Father-in-law's birthday & my Grandfather's death

      August 23 - my birthday & the day we buried my Grandfather

      August 16 - my Son's birthday & my birth Father's death 

      May 9 - my Grandmother's death & some years Mother's Day 

      April - my Husband's birthday, my Daughter's birthday, my Grandmother's birthday

      August - my birthday, my Son's birthday

      July - my Son's birthday, my Grandfather's birthday

Some times I do... This time I didn't

Standing in the check out. All to much money later my order was complete. Would you like to donate a dollar to such in such to help such in such? Don't get me wrong I donate sometimes but everybody asks so there does have to be limits to it if you are a bit tight as well. So any way 3 kids later, 3 hours from home I . Just . Want . To . Leave . I kindly responded no not this time. Handing her my card to pay for my purchases we hear "I will!" This little boy is standing there digging all the money to his name out of his pocket. He hands the lady all the change he has. Yes, that little boy is my son! I couldn't be prouder such a sweet and generous little man! With tears in my eyes and tear filled eyes all around us I add my donation as well to the order. In that moment I remembered to stop screaming, stop being busy, stressed, and worried and slow down and cherish my children and what a blessing they are to me and others!  ... But then we had to get in the car ;)

Lonely...not so alone

How are you doing? Cranky?!? No...sad, lonely, happy... but not happy, unsure of anything... Unsure of everything

I'm driving
It's dark
Tears are streaming down
Each one is a rolling rejection
A calming release
Change is on the horizon
I hate change
Am I capable of living in the present
I prefer the past
I see my dream
Just out of grasp
I want my cake and eat it to
So close to being something
Yet am nothing
So needed
Not wanted
I'm surrounded by people
Still completely alone
Can you have it all
It's just an illusion